In a 2001 research paper, Simon Baron-Cohen describes Theory of Mind as "...being able to infer the full range of mental states (beliefs, desires, intentions, imagination, emotions, etc.) that cause action. In brief, having a theory of mind is to be able to reflect on the contents of one's own and other's minds."
For many of those with autism or Asperger's, mindblindness, or lack of Theory of Mind creates major barriers to communication and closeness. These barriers often lead to those nearest to the individual feel, whether real or perceived, a lack of empathy from the individual.
When I think of Theory of Mind, I think of an amusing, but of course very inaccurate, belief I harbored as a young child. While playing games like hide and seek, I used to think, "If I can't see them, they can't see me." Of course, I learned very quickly that that was not the case. However, the mindblindness of individuals with autism or Asperger's can be similar - "If I can't/don't feel it or perceive it, then they can't/don't feel it or perceive it" (or vice versa).
Take the following example typically used to test children's Theory of Mind skills:
Someone who has a full grasp of Theory of Mind will immediately know that Sally will look where she last left the ball. She does not know that the ball has been moved. A person with poor Theory of Mind skills will believe that Sally will look for the ball in the box, because they do not fully grasp that Sally will not know what Ann has done.
While some professionals will say, as in a quote from Stephen Edelson Ph.D., "...many autistic individuals do not understand that other people have their own plans, thoughts, and points of view," I think this is overly simplistic. For myself, I can say that I absolutely understand that people have their own plans, thoughts, and points of view - but those plans, thoughts, and points of view are often a mystery to me.
Exploring possible causes, I begin to wonder - is it possible that the mindblindness is partially due to the differences between autistic and non-autistic thought processes? Could it be that people with autism/Asperger's are less mindblind with others like themselves? I don't know, but it seems logical to me. I know that I feel more at ease, more "on the same wavelength" with others like me.
So, here it comes - the "E" word - empathy. On the wall in one of my childhood classrooms was a copy of Norman Rockwell's painting, "The Golden Rule." I recall staring at those words, day after day as we lined up in the doorway - "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." It sank in.
From a young age, I incorporated that axiom into my belief structure. But here's where the problem comes in - what I would want "done unto me" is entirely different than what another might want. Likewise, "Putting myself in the other person's shoes" would have me doing something very different than what another person might envision doing in a similar situation. So, the logic is faulty.
But - is a failure to fully grasp individual differences truly that unusual? If it were, then why do we have so many relationship self-help books such as "Men Are From Mars: Women Are from Venus" or "The Five Love Languages", to help us decode each others' signals and thought processes? If the population in general is so good at mind reading, why do people need so much coaching to meet each others' needs?
The reality of the matter is that all people are different in their needs, and even "normal" (or as we prefer to call them, neurotypical) people seem to struggle to comprehend all of these differences. So, where's the line between "normal" struggling, and "mindblindness?"
All this difficulty in understanding the thoughts and reactions of others lead many to say that people with autism or Asperger's lack empathy. But, is this really true? Is it really a lack of empathy, or a lack of understanding?
I consider myself a very soft hearted person. When a character in a movie or television show is embarrassed, I feel embarrassed for them. When around someone who is crying, or in deep emotional pain, I often feel like crying with them, comforting them. Many people with autism and Asperger's are very close to their pets, and are very nurturing and empathetic toward them.
Could it be that the belief that autistic people lack empathy is really a lack of understanding of what people with autism and Asperger's understand about others' state of mind?
Zosia Zaks' article, "Myth: Autistic people lack empathy", explores this question, using the movie "Rain Man" as an example. The typical interpretation of the movie has the autistic character, Raymond, doing things that could be characterized as lacking empathy. But Zaks' article turns this interpretation on its head, wondering if, perhaps, it's not Raymond who's lacking the empathy, but the non-autistic character, Charlie.
In her article "Who cares? Or: The Truth about Empathy in Individuals of the Autism Spectrum," researcher Isabel Dziobek outlines her study on the subject of empathy. Through the course of the study, more than 50 subjects on the spectrum were evaluated against neurotypical control subjects. The results? To quote Ms. Dziobek - "More generally speaking, our data shows that people with Asperger syndrome have a reduced ability to read other peoples' social cues (such as facial expressions or body language) but once aware of another's circumstances or feelings, they will have the same degree of compassion as anyone else."
What do you think?
Lynne, thank you for asking
Lynne, thank you for asking these questions.
As a woman who was assessed late in life with AS, I too question very profoundly this presumption that people with AS do not have feelings and empathy.
You give as an example, all the self-help relationship gurus, books and courses. Either that points to a very widespread difficulty amongst NTs in understanding others' feelings and motivations, or it means that many more of us are on the autistic spectrum!
Actually, I think the truth lies in between: AS particularly is just being recognised as a neurological mode that affects many more people than had previously been understood (Baron-Cohen's own Autism Centre research suggested 1:58 unofficially last year. I believe it's actually much higher than that). All the same, it's apparently not autistic people who start wars, see images of abused children every night on tv and do nothing, or walk past injured people in the street. In other words, it's not them and us, it's all of us who have difficulties to some degree or other with relating and empathy.
On a personal note, during a recent very debilitating illness I've experienced at first hand how extremely callous NT people can be on a routine basis. My access to treament and care seemed to be far more dependent on my ability to sweettalk people than on my actual medical needs. I've been routinely bullied and taken advantage of even by professionals and 'carers'. When I was in the hospital I saw autism specialists treating a physically poorly low functioning autistic man with the most appalling patronisation and even cruelty.
There's something else going on here. It's all too easy for people who believe themselves to be 'normal' to cast neurologically different people in this 'unempathic' light. I rather think that there's quite a deal of projection and scapegoating going on.
Most on the autistic spectrum (myself included, despite my 98%ile IQ) are naive about the social and other games that a large portion of the population plays. We are literal, we do take things at face value, we're mostly scrupulously honest. We're easy to con. Instead of counting these attributes as 'symptoms' and pathological, why are they not lauded and held up as characteristics to be emulated? Despite so much intellectual ability life is simple, straightforward and honest for us. Isn't this what many many people say they want?! A simpler, honest life?!
As to this 'mindblindness', I have a very full and deeply felt range of emotions- it just takes me a little while to interpret and label what they are. The psychologist explained that this was due to reduced connections, a minimised corpus callosum, between the right and left hemispheres. If it takes me a while to work out my own feelings, then of course it's going to take me a commensurate time to work out others' feelings and motivations. I just cannot play the devious games that a large portion of the population seems to thrive on. Tell me, in a real fix, who would you prefer to have on your side? Someone who has a propensity to being two-faced and manipulative or someone who is upfront, honest to the core?
But these are simplistic ways of putting it. Understanding of AS, even amongst those who consider themselves to be experts, is rudimentary and very much in its infancy. It's my belief that we're going to find that some day AS brains will be credited with some and even many of the world's greatest achievements. Now that experts are beginning to attribute autistic traits to such as Einstein, Mozart, Dickinson, Austen, Jefferson, Thoreau, Spielberg, Gore et al I think we're going to have to revisit just what it is that bugs us about smart, naive, honest, straightforward folks who mostly see the world and think very differently from the majority.