We all know most jokes have a kernel of truth. On the train this morning I spotted two in the following headline from The Onion: "Man Who Should Be President Has Asymmetrical Eyebrows"

First of all, many studies show the importance of facial symmetry in attractiveness. A balanced body indicates good genes and healthy development, and it subliminally signals mate value.

Second, facial appearance sways voters. This process, too, is partially beneath consciousness. A study a few months ago showed that, when asked to compare the competency of unknown candidates based on head shots, they selected the eventual election winners 70 percent of the time, and their judgements were more accurate after seeing the photos for a tenth of a second than after seeing them for as long as they wanted.

Can anyone find the kernel of truth in "Man Who Should Be Hipster Has Symmetrical Haircut"?

In other news, Mark Peters's post last night mentioning variations on "the familiar barrel of monkeys cliché" had resonance in The Onion too. On page 1: "Idiom Shortage Leaves Nation All Sewed Up In Horse Pies," and on page 2: How Universal plans to turn Hasbro's toy Barrel of Monkeys into a movie.