Disasters are upsetting for everyone, but particularly for children. Probably one of the most important factors in determining how a child adapts to a disaster relates to how the child's parent or other caregiver responds. Let's take a look at some ways children react to disasters and discuss some suggestions on what we, as parents, can do to help.
First children of different ages react in different ways. Typical reactions of very young children (birth to about 6 years) to disasters include feeling helpless and scared and wanting to be around the caregiver more than usual. Babies may cry more often and become more easily upset. Preschool children also can appear anxious or fearful of the world because they no longer feel safe. They also may cling to the parent or caregiver. Fears of abandonment, a common childhood dread, can become even more pronounced. Preschoolers also might regress to the behaviors of younger ages, such as bed-wetting or thumb-sucking, and they may have trouble sleeping.
School age children (7 to 11 years) can also slip back to earlier, age-regressed behaviors. Furthermore, they can demonstrate concentration and attention problems, particularly at school. Unlike preschoolers, school aged children have the ability to understand the permanence of loss from a disaster. Thus these children can become preoccupied with the disaster and want to continuously talk about it. This preoccupation can result in various emotional reactions such as guilt, anger, etc as well as increased physical complaints.
Older children (such as teenagers) typically have a need to appear knowledgeable (clued-up as it were) especially to their friends. With older children one may see a variety of responses, ranging from adult-like behavior to age-inappropriate regressed behavior. The older child may desire to spend more time with the family; but they also may withdraw from the family. They may experience many emotions, from guilt to fear to feeling immortal because they have survived the disaster. They may feel as if they cannot discuss their emotions with their family members.
Okay, what are some of the things a parent can do to help their child after a disaster?
*As much as possible, return to a normal routine for daily activities, such as meal times and bedtime. Children need to feel a sense of stability after a disaster.
*Let children know that you are there for them and that you care about them. Be there to answer questions or just talk with them about their thoughts and feelings about the disaster. They need to be able to process their emotions during this time.
*Allow children to be more dependent than usual on you or other caregivers. This may help alleviate their fears and anxiety about their own safety. Let them stay near you or hug you more.
*Try to avoid letting children see media coverage of the disaster. Seeing everything happen again on TV may re-traumatize them and cause more fear and stress in them.
*Help children express themselves through play activities. Often they cannot express how they are feeling verbally, but they may use play as an outlet for their thoughts and emotions.
*Give children an opportunity to be of help to someone else. This may help them feel better about themselves and give them a sense of control and stability.
Remember that many of the upsetting behaviors children may demonstrate after a disaster are simply normal reactions to an abnormal situation. Given a strong support system, reassurance that everything will be okay, and extra love and care from the family, children will usually recover fully from a disaster. However, if the caregiver notices academic or behavioral problems at school, angry outbursts, withdrawal from normal social activities, physical problems (like headaches or nausea), depression, hopelessness, dangerous behaviors, or drug or alcohol use problems, he or she should seek professional help for the child. Often a counselor will be able to help the child understand and process their feelings and thoughts about the disaster.
