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What Influences Our Happiness The Most?

I have two friends, Seth and Michael, and one of them is a lot happier than the other.

Seth is chronically unhappy. He is often glum, frequently irritable, and sometimes hopeless, though he has never been clinically depressed. By contrast, Michael is a remarkable happy person. Although he has his low moments and periodic stress, he manages to find joy in his days and is quite content with the way his life is going. To understand why these two men are so different, let me tell you a little bit about them.

Both are in their early 40s and doing well in their careers. Michael is a professor of psychology at a prestigious university, who has reasonably bright students, a fair amount of autonomy in his work, and many opportunities for travel. His research program has been successful, garnering attention from all over the U.S. Seth is a deputy city attorney in a small but beautiful city right on the Pacific Ocean. He specializes in landlord-tenant disputes and other civil matters, and his success as a litigator has led to occasional media appearances, in which he is asked to speak about his latest cases. He gets a kick out of doing that.

Both have close-knit families. Seth is married to Allison, whom he met while on sabbatical in the Netherlands, and they have 5-year old twin boys. Michael is married to Holly. They started dating in law school, and now have a boy (age 6) and a girl (age 3).

Both men own homes in the suburbs of a major metropolitan area, about half an hour from the city and their jobs.

So, why is Michael happier than Seth? Was he simply lucky to be born with a sunnier disposition? Or, is he more fortunate with regard to the events and circumstances of his life?

Knowing them, I would be hard-pressed to assert that the life situation of one is clearly superior to the other. On balance, neither seems to have the better job, wife, kids, house, or car. Furthermore, scientific research has shown that prosperity, health, and physical attractiveness are only minimally related to one’s overall happiness. For example, a study by Ed Diener from the University of Illinois demonstrated that the richest Americans – those earning more than $10 million annually – report levels of personal happiness only slightly greater than the people who work for them. So, even if Seth had fewer of life’s “goods,” this shortfall wouldn’t explain his acute unhappiness.

What about genetics? Growing research done with identical and fraternal twins suggests that each person is born with a particular “happiness set point” – that is, a baseline or potential for happiness to which he or she is bound to return, even after major setbacks or triumphs. The set point for happiness is similar to the set point for weight. Some people are blessed with a “skinny disposition.” Even when they’re not trying, they easily maintain their weight. By contrast, others have to work extraordinarily hard to keep their weight at a desirable level and the moment they slack off even a bit, the pounds creep back on. So, Michael may simply possess a higher set point for happiness, a higher potential for well-being. He doesn’t have to work hard at it – he just is happy.

So if Michael’s happiness is due to genetics, what is left for Seth to do? Are we all doomed to obey the directives of our genes?

The answer is “no.” I am an experimental social psychologist who has conducted the first controlled experimental intervention studies to increase and maintain a person’s happiness level over and above his or her set point. In broadest terms, this research suggests that sustainable happiness is attainable regardless of genetics, if one is prepared to do the work. Much like permanent weight loss and fitness, becoming lastingly happier demands making some permanent changes, requiring effort and commitment every day of one’s life.

My two colleagues – Ken Sheldon at the University of Missouri and David Schkade at UC San Diego – and I developed a theory that describes the most important factors determining happiness. (This theory lies at the heart of my book, The How of Happiness.) In sum, we argue that the set point determines just 50% of happiness, while a mere 10% can be attributed to differences in people’s life circumstances – that is, whether they are rich or poor, healthy or unhealthy, married or divorced, etc. This leaves a surprising 40% of our capacity for happiness within our power to change. This means that Seth can be a great deal happier and Michael could be even happier too.

Comments

Eckhart Tolle on seeking unhappiness

Writer Eckhart Tolle speaks of "negative remnants of negative emotions" which accumulate in our body as a form of energy he calls the pain-body, "only active for a certain percentage of the time" but which "seeks unhappiness and unpleasant experiences, and more negativity because it feeds on those things." Perhaps this is another way to understand "set point" and how it can be modified through greater awareness. One of his articles on my site is Eckhart Tolle on Our Very Unhappy Entity: The Pain-body http://talentdevelop.com/articles/OVUETP.html


Your post interested me as I

Your post interested me as I have been pondering about that question myself, on how to have lasting happiness. On just expressing my own perspective on this topic... I believe that lasting happiness and inner peace is something that has to come from within the individual rather than from external circumstances, because circumstances do change and the happiness that depends on them very fragile. And when one has too much of a good thing, somehow it stops bringing happiness or joy. Personally, I think that personal development is one of the key to lasting happiness that would prevail despite changing life circumstances. People often have a transformed outlook an approach to life after a life-changing event. Companionship or having close ties seems to be important too. After all, we all have heard and seen of miserable millionaires and individuals who are happy and fulfilled despite not having much.


I personally thinks about

I personally thinks about how to achieve happiness frequently. In fact, my concern is also geared towards what happiness should really be actually.

Laughter, feelings of euphoria are considered happy feelings. What about when you are feeling neutral, which happens often also. Does that mean you are not happy? Or does it mean that you are happy if you are at least neutral in your feelings right now.


my theories of happiness equation

external factors (including one's health and genes) : 60
controllable factors : 40

its quite difficult to really give a number though.
I feel that both your body and you environment has a larger control over how happy you are , even if you have heard many advices of how to be happy from books and famous people.

Its not that easy to achieve happiness all the time. That said.. I think most people are contended and happy quite frequently also. Only some of them will break down because they have met with bad circumstances in life and they do not have much wisdom to overcome it and remain happy.


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