I have seven surfboards stashed in the back hall/ fire exit of our apartment. Somehow, I have convinced myself that I need all seven. A longboard for small days, a short board for the rare, epic summer days, a wider, floatier fish for summer mush, a mid-sied, hybrid, for medium days, or spring, when I'm too out of shape to paddle the short board. One short, fat, egg with blue flames that I call "Gordito", etc. These, and others, make up my "quiver", the boards I need, or think I need, to cover all situations. Ignore the fact that the metro-surf in and around Rockaway is merely serviceable, and it makes sense.
Last weekend, I spring cleaned, tackling closet and dresser as a first pass. The impulse to spring clean must be genetic, akin to molting, rebirth, phoenix from the wintery ashes, etc. But the angles on the process are multiple. Do we spring clean because we are wiser, and we realize the frivolity of harboring so much baggage (clothes, books, friends, etc.)? Is it because we are fickle, impressionable, and our moods, likes, dislikes, weights, styles, change with the seasons? Or are we impulsive, acting out our desires, angers, dreads, and fears in Hefty bagged bundles for points afar like the dumpster, Salvation Army, or to someone who might want them?
Many patients seem to want psychic spring cleaning as well. It is a time of change, and they get impatient to have their insides change to keep pace with the anticipated external changes. Patients ask me for deadlines. "When will I be done... ready...better, etc." Nothing wrong with motivation, drive, a kick in the ass, a jumpstart. But, slow down. Know your motives for spring cleaning. It is probably better to hold on to your baggage a little longer and try to really understand why you are willing to let it go... or keep it.
Seven surfboards is a lot. Maybe it's too many for New York City. Admittedly it's a rare year when each gets equal time on the water. But, I figure, as long as I continue to try to understand my reasons for holding on to each one, and continue to give each some play, or until the fire marshal busts me, they'll stay on my back stairs. GD
lol @ until the fire marshal
I'm not a patient, but cleaning the psyche-space in my case is often precipitated by a sudden acknowledgement of a flaw in my coping systems or idealogy in regards to life. Suddenly, it occurs to me that the reason I'm not with the person of my dreams is because I don't know what I want, I don't go out and try to meet people to get a feel for what I want, I don't act/behave like I want the person of my dreams to come. I'm in agreement: we all need to take a little time to search out the baby before we throw out the bathwater, but sometimes letting go, regardless of why we held on in the first place, can help us to understand the why's in retro. Consider that the leaving process is transitional and does not in itself happen all at one time. For some, beginning to let go of our baggage is the only way we can confront why we held on (rather than holding on, trying to figure out why we're holding on, and...um...holding on). When I decided I wanted to make a transition from being a spectator in my life to being irrepressibly involved, I didn't look up every talent showcase and apply. I kept doing what I did best; I displayed myself more; I transitioned into a world in which I'm one of many and not just one. So yeah, hold on tight. But, give it up while you do, even if it's only little by little. (Surf boards in New York?)