Whom are newborn babies said to resemble?

In my last post, I suggested that babies may be born looking more like the father than the mother, although the experimental evidence is so far inconclusive. There is a related finding that is much less controversial and well replicated, however, and that is the question of whom newborn babies are said to resemble.

Nature may or may not help assure fathers of their paternity by making babies resemble them, but friends and family -- in particular, mothers and their kin -- certainly do. In three separate studies conducted in three different North American countries (Canada, Mexico, and the United States) in three different decades, mothers and maternal relatives are far more likely to allege the baby’s paternal resemblance than its maternal resemblance. Mothers and maternal kin of the baby spontaneously say things like “Oh, the baby has Daddy’s eyes!” or “she looks so much like Daddy!” This happens even when the newborn babies in fact do not resemble their fathers. Such allegation of paternal resemblance assure the fathers of their paternity, whether the babies actually resemble them or not.

Further, in most societies, babies get their last name from the father, not the mother, thereby once again suggesting to the father that he is the father of the baby. (Russians go one step further and give their babies their middle and last names after the father.) This is true even in societies where women routinely keep their last name when they get married and do not adopt their husband’s name. The children of such parents nonetheless usually get their last name from the father, not the mother. Many Western professional women these days often keep their last name when they get married. Most of their children still get their last names from the father, not the mother. By giving their children the father’s last name, these women are essentially (albeit unconsciously) saying, “Honey, its yours,” even, or especially, when it is not. Mothers need to assure their husbands of their paternity, but do not themselves need to be assured of their maternity; they know for sure. Mommy’s baby, Daddy’s maybe. And for 10-30% of daddies, it is not.