Remember, whenever you

Remember, whenever you ignore or deny your own needs in the service of others, you're giving yourself the message that you are less important or worthy than they are. This can only contribute to a sense of self as inferior and somehow less worthwhile others.

Can you respect your own needs and respectfully let others whom you trust know of them--making sure that you speak in terms of requests (rather than demands)? They, then, are free to respond positively to your needs, or not--just as you may need to learn how more freely to deny their needs if that means somehow compromising yourself (in your own eyes).

Your parents--or mother--must have done some real damage to your self-esteem. Now it's up to you to repair it by honoring yourself in a way that she (or they) were not capable of. And this has nothing to do with cultivating narcissism and everything to do with learning self-nurturance (to refer to my earlier posting).